He went on to explain that a colleague had taught him that phrase - choking on cake - for when life is great but there is just too much going on.
I quickly fell in love with the phrase, and took to sharing it with others often. It seemed terrific. Sure there's a lot going on, but it is sweet and delicious. It's cake. (For the record, I don't actually like cake. Another colleague who was with us at the time said that for me, the phrase should be choking on artisanal Brooklyn home brew.)
And so I mentioned the phrase "choking on cake" breezily to my stellar Executive Coach, who paused, and said, "Well, I guess that's better than choking on charcoal."
But is it? A pound of feathers or a pound of gold - still weighs a pound, right? Choking on charcoal or choking on cake - still choking, right?
That same stellar coach and I have been talking about cognitive reframing. I have to admit, I've secretly been a little resistant to focusing on it too much. I tend already to be a glass is half full person. Reframing seemed a little pop-psychology - kind of "every cloud has a silver lining."
Until I actually thought about the cake. And released that reframing is genuinely thinking from another perspective.
It's like this image:
Do you see the angels or the demons? They are both there. Refocusing to look at one doesn't negate the other, it just brings a different image into focus.
Which is what happened to me.
I was focused on the cake. Until I became focused on the choking.
And that very specific reframe changed my perspective.
Choking? Not really. I'm not choking. I am often harried, not finishing everything, but I can breathe, and swallow. Personally, I'm moving through the tasks. Organizationally, we are flourishing.
It's more like binging. I'm shoving a lot - probably too much - in. But I'm the person shoving it in. I'm not a goose getting prepped to become foie gras. After a period of looking for a job, I'm more like a kid who hasn't been allowed sweets. I just want more and more and more to the point where I keep eating after I should stop.
Also - cake? Cake is sweet but nutritionally empty. Some of what I'm binging on probably is cake. Projects that I love but aren't strategic. Some tasks are more like vitamins; no taste but all nutrition. The sweet spot is those things I am doing that I love and are useful. Sort of how I feel about roasted veggies. I could eat them forever. And they are good for me.
Reframing is often temporary until we practice it over and over. Our minds want to go back to familiar thinking patterns. But for today? I'm not choking on cake. I'm binging on roasted veggies. And while it might hurt my belly sometimes, in the long run, I'm gonna be healthier.
[p.s. I know it has been almost a year since I've blogged. I'm going to try to do something about that. Hold me to it, ok?]
