I'm about 48 hours out from having an official teen, and an official bar mitzvah boy, looking through old photos and wondering how we got here.
Here's one thing we did: built a village. It's true it takes one. (And I know it'll be even more true in the next phase of parenting). It's also true that most of us don't just fall into a village, we build one. Parenting without community is brutal, maybe impossible. But parenting with community involves putting that community together.
I've started to think of these folks as our Village People:
Family, of birth and marriage - the perennial of the village. They always have been and always will be there. They benefit from water and attention, but they are there with us regardless.
Friends who parent in ways we admire. Who are a little older and further ahead and are on the other side, still breathing.
Irreverent friends who make us gasp in mock horror and reverent friends who sit with us and pray.
Those folks who have known us since we ourselves were young and remind us that we weren't always who we are now.
Colleagues who never ask about our kids and only focus on us. And colleagues who always ask about our kids.
People who flirt with us like we have no wrinkles and people who chime in when we whine about aging.
Friends who bring us food and drink, who can create parties in the middle of hurricanes, and who have never needed an excuse to just sit together and laugh.
Village People, you know who you are. We love our village and are grateful to have you in our lives. Now tell us a joke, this bar mitzvah thing is making us weepy.
