First world problems

My sister J is perhaps the most forgiving person and least judgmental person I know. Most anecdotes she shares start with, "well, no one else likes (or gets along with) so-and-so, but I like him/think she's nice, etc."

Shortly after reading my last blog, J gave me the world's most gentle combination of pep talk/talking to. The gist of it was - you are much luckier than most people. Enjoy this time and relax. You are very fortunate.

She's absolutely right. I may be bored and angst ridden about what's next, but I am very, very fortunate. I have the benefit of some time to make sure I'm making the right move for me personally and professionally. I have a strong network, terrific friends, an amazingly supportive family. I've had conversations about prospects that are dream jobs.  My issues right now really are problems of privilege.  Issues of what we called the "worried well" in social work school. Things that we now call "first world problems."

First world problems. The time our heat broke and we could only heat two rooms with space heaters in the dead of winter. The time our flight was delayed on the way home from an amazing vacation. The time the espresso grinder broke. Being temporarily unemployed and financially able to weather the transition. 

Here's the problem with "first world problems". They are our problems. They affect us and our lives. They cause us real stress. And we want to, and should, talk about that stress. Yet, complaining about them is uncomfortable when we recognize that our problems pale in comparison to others' problems.

There is always someone less fortunate than us. Always someone we should think about when we complain. And there is always someone more fortunate about us. Someone whose complaints we find utterly ridiculous.

A while back in another post I wrote about a piece of teaching I think about often. It says each person should carry two slips of paper in his/her pocket. On one it should be written, "the whole world was created for me."  On the other, "I am but a speck of dust." We are the center of the universe. Our problems consume us. And, we are a speck of dust. Our problems are inconsequential.

My boredom in this temporary period of unemployment is truly a first world problem. I recognize that many people, including readers of this blog, have more real concerns.  What to me is hopefully a short period of uncertainty is for many years of true struggle and worry.  But I also recognize that many reached out to me following my last post sharing their feelings of being in similar situations. Able to put food on their table and keep a roof over their heads, and grateful for it, but uncomfortable in the uncertainty and waiting.

All we can do, I think, is to remember that both are true. We are lucky and we are unlucky. We are fortunate and we are pained. Most of us live with immense privilege, and yet, that privilege does not prevent us from struggle or challenge. We need to recognize both, living in gratitude and also feeling our challenges.  It's easy for me to write. To do, on the other hand? We'll see....